Love is powerful for a reason – we have relied on it for man’s survival and population growth. Like any organ or physiological mechanism, love is a necessity to thrive in life. Potent and powerful, our brains mimic that of a crack addict while engaging in the euphoric stages of the beginnings of love. Psychologists are telling us that it takes between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide if you are attracted to someone. 55% is through that little mystery called chemistry and body language. 38% is the tone and speed of their voice. 7% has anything to do with what a person really says. I guess that means it is normal when you did not hear a word of conversation because you were too busy having an adrenalin rush. The stages of love are driven by hormones and chemicals that definitely affect our brains and cause our behavior. This is all exciting, but it doesn’t exactly signal us as to whether we can asses if we have a great partner to share responsibilities like raising children or being a best friend in the relationship. That is discovered when we become emotionally attached.
Dopamine, (rush of pleasure) stimulates increased energy, with less need for food or sleep. It is what puts that spring in our step and often causes us to focus on the smallest details of this novel relationship. Big doses of sugar have the same effect. When you binge on sweets it means you really just need a little bit of love, which has a lot less calories. Serotonin is what keeps the thoughts of your lover consuming your brain constantly, like the pop ups on your computer screen which are hard to control. It has been proven through scientific study that the serotonin levels of new lovers were equivalent to the low serotonin levels of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder patients. Is love really a wonderful temporary state of insanity, smitten with magnifying virtues and dismissing flaws? Some scientists suggest love can be broken down to a chemical addiction between people. This is nice to know just in case you are already on some type of medication. Oxytocin, ( the cuddle hormone) is that powerful chemical that is released during sex. It deepens the feelings of bonding and emotional attachment. We might need the pleasure effect of serotonin in our brain to keep love blind and rose tinted to keep us together to achieve attachment for the next level of the relationship. The theory is the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes. Devotion and protective behavior stem from this love chemical. It is the same chemical released when a mother is nursing her baby. So what exactly is love? Webster defines it as: Strong affection based on admiration, desire, benevolence or common interests. It is definitely a gift from God that enriches your journey in life. Love is what poets write about and what movies are made of.
As the story goes, Saint Valentine, a Roman, was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. He died on February 14th, 269 A.D. Legend also has it that he left a farewell note to the jailer’s daughter who had become his friend, and signed it “From your Valentine”. Pope Gelasius set aside February 14th to honor St. Valentine. Happy Valentine’s Day!
