After meeting my fair share of frogs in the dating world, I decided it was time to come up with some standards that would help me weed out the warts to find my prince. There are certain red flags, that if you see in a guy during the initial phase of courtship, that should require you to show him the door. He is not worth the effort it has taken you to do your nails, shave your legs, wax your face, style your hair, and spend an hour in your closet trying to figure out what to wear.
1. One on one – not a group date. It is highly annoying when someone puts their blackberry on the table and takes calls or texts while their focus should be on you. It really shows disrespect. I am taking my time to get to know you better, and have quality time, and you are checking out the latest score on the Braves game or arguing with your ex. The only time a man should EVER put his phone on the table is if his wife is about to go into labor any second, and if that’s the reason he’s doing that, then you have much bigger problems on your hands.
2. No trespassing. It really irks me when men push the envelope too soon. Women have boundaries and you need to respect them. I had a girlfriend once tell me that on a second date a guy picked her up and said oh, why don’t you just bring your overnight bag with you “just in case it gets too late and I can’t drive you home,” or here’s an opportunity of a lifetime for you to come over to my place for some “private guitar lessons.” Unless a girl invites you back to her place, don’t try some cheesy line. We all know what you really are interested in.
3. Don’t reveal damaged goods. Everyone has skeletons in their closet or “crazy” exes, but no one needs to walk around with a billboard about all their old relationships during a first date. Save it until you have really gotten to know the other person. I had a guy tell me about each of his three ex-wives in the course of our first dinner. It was such a tear jerker that, by the time I finished my first Cosmo, I wanted to drink the bar dry. I kept thinking, “I really should have just stayed home with a cucumber mask and a good book for the evening.” If I wanted to hear a smear campaign, I could have turned on the tv and watched political campaigns.
4. Cough it up. Listen cowboy. If you have asked me out for dinner, you are going to treat. Don’t speak for me or my wallet. Don’t pull out your credit card and say, “I’ve got it this time, you can get the next one.” Should I tell him now, or later, that there is not going to be a next date? If you can’t afford to wine and dine, be creative and do something cheaper. There is nothing worse than being out with some new-age dutch dude when your bank account is screaming its empty.
5. Don’t sell me on a Mercedes when it’s an old Chevy. I know your mother thinks the heavens broke open the day you were born. You may think your job is so cool and that everyone wants a piece of you because you are the top dog. You really don’t need to share that. It’s great to have confidence, but that is something that is exuded without a spoken word. Real men don’t need to advertise or convince. It is really annoying when you don’t even know the guy and he is already telling you about his accomplishments, what he owns, or how many influential friends he has.
There are all types of dating No-No’s in Singlesville. Sometimes it rains jerks and quirks, sometimes it rains charming gentleman. Either way, you better pack an umbrella just in case.
