Slip of the Tongue

I recently had a girlfriend call me up exasperated and annoyed with her successful boyfriend with whom she had been together with for a few years. After a few heated arguments the issue seemed to boil down to: “Well…what is my Vahjayjay worth?” It seems the comment (he is a banker by the way) “You are just not a good investment” slipped off his tongue in the heat of the moment. The thought of posing such a question is not so outrageous. Sex and money make the world go round and the ugly truth occasionally rears its head!

Women look at the numbers when it concerns love and romance as well. This attractive lady’s boyfriend wanted to have sex every day, sometimes twice a day, depending on the “stress level” at the office. Although they maintained separate residences with each individual paying their own bills, taxes, insurance, utilities etc…80% of the time they managed to have sleepover’s at his place. He wants her but is not thrilled about the teenage “baggage” that has to be included a lot of the time.  Whoever said “divorced, single with kids” was going to be easy?

This couple has been together in a relationship for two years.  Lets do a cost-benefit analysis for one year to understand her emotions. Lets give Mr. High Testosterone an extra three times a week for “stress relief sex” (Women want their men to be happy!) That is 10 times a week at 520 times a year.  If the banker were to hire a decent prostitute at $ 300.00 a pop, absent the bonus of emotional fulfillment, it would cost 520 x $300.00 = $156,000 a year. This is a great salary for a woman in a down economy! When a single lady is stressed, paying her own bills, and is sometimes not “up for the challenge” one cannot blame her for considering her investment in the relationship. Yes it is true that romance takes some finance in courtship, dinners, trips here and there, but lets take a look at his numbers.  Most women do like to go out for dinner. Lets very generously throw in $1000.00 a week for dinner and entertainment, ( this is a lot for most men) at $52,000 a year. Lets add a few vacations a year at $15,000 which is extremely nice by most standards. This adds up to $67,000.00 a year in courtship dollars.  When you do the math of $156,000.00-$67,000.00, there is a surplus of $89,000.00 for the man.  In a woman’s mind, she might expect that surplus to take the form of some kind of appreciation. If a man took the time to contemplate the numbers he might be slower to react when his girlfriend whines about needing some new tires or a new air conditioning unit, especially if she is struggling.

“Why buy the cow if you can milk it for a cheap wholesale price” is often how a woman can feel when they are taking care of themselves, their household, expenses, and children while keeping their man warm every night. Dude, be understanding when a woman needs that appreciation sometimes in cash to help out. Research shows that a woman values protection and financial security, ranking it often above physical attraction in their priorities. Especially as women grow older. Each relationship is unique. There are men that do complain about providing well and not having their needs met, which is another story.  In the case of a woman feeling like she is at a “volume discount” it might be a wonderful gesture for a man to open his wallet and put a huge smile on her face.