Scary Business

Almost all women have experienced a hellacious horror story involving a character. Online dating can be a scary business so let me warn you, be careful taking a risk unless you have an iron clad back up plan. One night I was scrolling through j-daters from different cities because I was tired of dating the local men and wanted to see if there might be a more appealing man in a different city. I came across a guy from New York. I did the online flirt with a wink, teasing him at first because he really was not my type. Why not give “Not My Type” a chance. After all, nothing else had worked up to now. We talked a lot for weeks over the phone.

He wouldn’t leave me alone and kept pursuing, asking if I would like to meet him in the Bahamas because he plans the same trip every year and didn’t have anyone to go with. I actually kind of felt sorry for the guy. I HATE the Bahamas. Especially Freeport! Been there, done that-25 years ago! I decided to go ahead and meet him there for a four day weekend (too many days). The moment I stepped off the plane, I knew I should not have gone. OMG! Some guy, wearing a muscle” T”, who barely resembled “Not My Type” picked me up in a taxi. We went to the “timeshare” which he inherited from his ex-wife, God knows how many years ago. It looked like a Motel 6 on a deserted Island. The casino across the way must have been destroyed by a hurricane, who knows how many years ago. The timeshare was an “efficiency” that he and his ex-wife purchased 20 years ago. It looked as if it was built before I was born. The décor was literally out of the 70s. No kidding, there was a mirror plastered on the ceiling above a water bed. I thought I was in an episode of “Love American Style” without the love!

I asked where he was sleeping because there was no way in hell I was sleeping in the same bed! He said he would sleep on the sofa. I lay there gazing up at the ceiling mirror thinking this was a big mistake. The next day I asked “where’s the beach?” He said we would have to take a cab. So far… sooooo bad. It was only a mile away but he was so out of shape he didn’t want to walk. I decided to take a shower before we left for the beach. When I came out of the bathroom, he was stark naked! Not a pretty sight! Was this some sort of subtle seduction tactic? I was ready for the beach. I wasn’t waiting for a cab. I wasn’t waiting for him–I didn’t walk, I ran to the beach which ended up being disgusting. The next day just seemed to be a blurr. He didn’t seem to have a plan and did not want to spend any money. I just ended up soaking up the sun at the Freeport Motel 6. I was the youngest person there—except for two grandchildren. Everyone must have been over 60. I felt like I was at a retirement village. You can imagine the growing tension, as he slept on the sofa and I in the water bed starring up into the ceiling mirror all night. He must have been disappointed with not getting to participate in the one activity he had in mind.

I mean how can a guy invite a girl out for a weekend and not have any activities planned. I would ask “what do you want to do” only to get the cool reply, “I don’t know.” Ok, the guy doesn’t want to go to the casino, or shopping at the mall because he obviously does not want to spend any money. Why would a guy invite a woman for a weekend to the Bahamas and expect to not spend any money, or have a plan. Now “Mr. Not My Type” has become “Mr. WTF” (New York dialect for not having any answers). “ Mr. WTF” continued being completely rude. My cell phone didn’t work down in the islands so I could not call home. To end a complete nightmare I just decided to grab my stuff and head to the airport to try to get on a standby flight. I sent “my cousin Vinny” a Dear John email from the plane stating that we just were not compatible. What a disaster! The guy never called to see if I had made it home, but did call a month later. Go figure?

‘Bubbles’ in Atlanta, Georgia