He may not be someone else’s idea of the perfect male, but remember everyone has their own unique needs and wants. Finding true love by looking for what is truly important, and letting go of the stuff that is not, may help us find our own “Mr. Right” among someone else’s idea of “Mr. Good Enough”. This not settling, it is changing your frame of mind. Sometimes, the most unlikely people will be the ones who make you feel special and make you laugh and enjoy life more than anyone else. Giving the initially “not-my-type” guy a second look might just bring you a pleasant surprise when you invest your time and emotions. Having an open mind will keep you from passing up a great guy because of some trivial little things. I have heard women make a judgment after one or two dates and toss a potentially great guy in the can. When you are younger, you spend a lot more time getting to know someone (like in school, hanging out with friends, etc). When you get older, life becomes busier and it may seem there is less time to invest to really get to know someone before you make the “potential mate” call. Online mass marketing methods and speed dating parties make it even more complicated. I knew a woman that said that if she was going to take the time to really dress to impress and fix herself up with make-up, she was going to ensure she had dates lined up for breakfast, lunch and dinner. A few days a week for several weeks of this type of schedule, left this poor woman overwhelmed with mental notes and without second date decisions (don’t forget the weight gain attributed to going out for three wonderful meals everyday).
Women of ANY age should not lower their standards, but rather align their expectations with what is really important. Hey, the prince charming package sounds wonderful, but do you really want to go around feeling constantly frustrated because you are not wearing Kate Middleton’s tiara or living in the castle? That entitlement attitude might keep you single longer than you would like. Real love begins when there is true patience, caring and honesty. Lightning strikes in the strangest places. Don’t get a rigid idea stuck in your head of Mr. Right and the life you envision. Get out of your comfort zone, and delete any overly stringent check lists. You will be surprised by the freedom and tolerance you develop as a result.
Looks may change, and passions may wane, especially when conversations morph into questions about who’s taking out the trash or who will balance the check book. Commitment and marriage is work, albeit very worthwhile work. A sea of human quirks and emotions that are ever changing and growing…..it never ends. A true partner is someone who meets the really important check lists, and they will always be there to love you as a whole person. If not, I wouldn’t hitch my wagon permanently. Look for what is important, let go of the stuff that isn’t. It will lead a much happier and fulfilling life.
