Sooner or later, you will brush up against a slick and clever con man. They are out there in every city, ladies. Committing theft by stealing through your emotions, they often leave you broken hearted, wasting your time or possibly robbing your bank account. If you’ve just met some dude that is overwhelming you with praise, attention and lavish flattery, just go ahead and puke from the insincerity. The girl before you heard the exact same thing. Be careful, particularly if you are lonely or vulnerable because a good con can smell it and be hot on the path with skills to meet those needs.
The most intelligent person can fall prey to the affable “Mr. Charming” smart nice guy. Check his references when he tries to “prove” himself with name dropping and overinflated credentials. These guys are usually dressed for success and drive the “right” car, albeit leased and on the repo list. Con men addictively gravitate to the wealthy like a disguised cat in the mink farm hoping to benefit.
I once overheard a woman comment on a man that tried to impress her by showing her his million dollar house and the Ferrari in the garage. She found out later, the Ferrari that could not be driven due to an allegedly “bad battery” was actually not his and he did not have the keys. By the way, the house did not belong to him; he was just house sitting .
Be suspicious of inconsistencies in his stories of delusional grandeur about the big deal going down when his credit card declines and he needs you to cover for him with promises of reimbursement. Most cons are super salesmen and master manipulators to the point of making you feel guilty for ‘not trusting” them. They often exhibit passive aggressive behavior mirroring their narcissism back to you. You may not be the “only one” in the relationship. Trust but verify to avoid a big reality slap later. There are too many women that are shocked when they find out that they are committed but HE is on several online dating sites, maybe with a hidden profile surfing for “something better.” Married congressmen on Craig’s list and Facebook are not the only ones sending cell phone pics of themselves half naked to unsuspecting women. Observe compulsions or addictions which fuel fraud. Most fraudsters have addictions to alcohol, drugs, excessive spending and constantly lie. The only person they really love is themselves.
One lie isn’t enough with a con. You are not going to have the facts to catch him in a multitude of lies. Test his vagueness or evasions by pressing for all the details of his story to make sure it adds up. You don’t want to end up falling like Ann Hathaway for a man soon to be checking into the federal prison system for ponzi fraud, conspiracy, and money laundering.
How to Detect a Con:
Run a background check. Google is a great start and it’s free.
Check social media sites like Facebook, Myspace, or Linkedin to cross-reference their personal information.
Check county records. It can tell you a lot about a person’s past. See if your date is a named party in a lawsuit or default judgments due to a lack of response. You can find out if they are actually divorced. Some people will say they are divorced when they have not even filed, or it is still pending.
Talk to people. The cardinal rule is to talk to people about a specific individual’s reputation or history. You would be surprised how many people will open up if asked.
If all else fails and you have a gut feeling something is wrong, hire a private investigator.
